There are a handful of exceptions, but our society generally doesn’t accept a woman making moves on the man.
It is always expected that in a romantic relationship, the man makes the move, the woman responds.
And that is why it is always a tight spot for a woman when she likes a man who has not exactly shown interest in her.
She can only use subtle and cunning ways to find out if he is interested in her, or to show him signs that she wants him to make a move.
A woman is also in a tight spot when she has something going on with a man who just would not commit.
There is only so much she can do – if he doesn’t want to commit to her, he won’t.
The situation is always a bit tougher if he hasn’t declared his interest in her at all.
In this case, even when it is glaring that he has interest in her, as long as he has not declared it, she is only walking in assumptions.
And it is not advisable to build relationships based on assumptions.
Until a man verbally declares interest in you, he has no obligations to be committed to you, and there is almost nothing to do about it.
But what should you do if he has declared interests but does not want to be committed?
6 Things to Do When He Won’t Commit
1. Talk to Him
If he has declared interest in you, it is only natural that you’ll begin to seek some level of commitment from him.
You see, sometimes, a man may not have deeply rooted feelings for you.
Maybe he just had an infatuation and in the heat of the emotions, he declared his interest in you.
Chances also are that there is a reason he is keeping you, but that reason is definitely not a long-term commitment.
Or maybe he is handling a very demanding project and doesn’t want to split his commitment until he is done.
You won’t know what is keeping him from committing to you until you ask him about it.
So call your man and express your concerns.
Maybe he didn’t exactly say what interests he has in you when he said he was interested in you.
So it’s time to ask him.
What does he want from you?
A fling or a long-term commitment?
When you are talking to him, be careful not to put pressure on him, though.
Tell him your concerns and let him also talk about his concerns.
From there, you both can decide on what you want to do.
2. Think About Your Needs and Goals
Before you begin to demand commitment from a man, you should know what you want.
Some men are very observant, and many times, they make decisions based on what they have noted in their observations.
If you do not have a clearly defined goal or are always looking unserious, your man may not take extra steps to commit to you, even when he really likes you and wants to be with you.
Because a relationship is an investment, and no wise person wants to make a bad investment.
Having clearly defined goals will also let you know if you are ready for commitment or if you want something on the surface level.
Or maybe you’re not ready for a relationship at all.
Finally, knowing your needs and goals will let you know if your man’s goals align with yours.
So, rather than blindly pressing your man for commitment because all your friends are in committed relationships, pay attention to knowing what you want both short—and long-term.
3. Let Him Know What You Want
After deciding what you want in a relationship, both short-term and long-term, it is wise to share your expectations with him.
Let him know your goals, including your need for a committed relationship.
Specifically, talk about what you expect from him in the relationship and what you expect from the relationship as a whole.
It is only the things you tell him that he knows.
And if he doesn’t know, you can’t expect him to fulfill it.
Another thing that you should speak to him about is your boundaries.
If you both are not in a committed relationship, your relationship with each other should reflect that.
It will make no sense that he is clear about not wanting a committed relationship, and you are investing all your life into it like it is a committed relationship.
Set your boundaries, make them clear to him, and strictly enforce them.
That way, you are able to reduce misunderstandings and increase respect in the relationship.
4. Give Him Breathing Space
If your man has told you that he is not ready to be in a committed relationship just yet, it is only wise that you let him be.
Everyone likes to do things at their convenience, especially when it comes to something as serious as a relationship.
Just as it is possible for you not to have your own goals clearly defined, it is also possible that your man is trying to figure himself out.
At this time, he doesn’t need you nagging him about commitment.
He needs to take time at his own pace to decide what it is he really wants.
If you have talked with him about it, you should give him time to process and make his decision.
If you feel he is taking too long and you cannot wait, you can also decide to move on.
5. Focus on Yourself
Being in a committed relationship is such a beautiful thing.
But you know what is even more beautiful?
Focusing on continuous growth and self-improvement.
Many women today feel that their lives should be put on hold as soon as they get into a relationship.
But it shouldn’t be so.
While waiting for your man to become committed to you (and even when you are in a committed relationship), commit yourself to growth.
Build your experience, your network, your knowledge base, etc.
Pursue your hobbies and goals as an independent woman.
You should know that the better you are as a person, the better the quality of your relationship.
6. Consider Your Options
The advice to not put all your eggs in one basket may not be applicable in some relationship situations, but there are times when it comes in really handy.
Like when you have something going on with someone who is not ready to commit to you.
In this situation, it is only advisable for you to consider other options.
Especially since you are looking for commitment, and it’s not coming from the person you’re with
Rather than hold on to the hope that he will change his mind about being committed to you, keep your mind open to other people.
You may need to move out of the relationship to make room for other connections.
As long as he has not spoken to you about being committed within a time frame, the hope you are leaning on may only be false.
It may be difficult, but sometimes (and depending on your personal goals and needs), walking away may just be the best option.
Men are people with their own minds, needs, and goals.
Dealing with a man who does not want to commit to you definitely requires patience and understanding.
But it is not something you should lose yourself doing.
If what you want from a relationship is commitment, there is no reason why you should settle for less.
If it is not this man, then there is someone else out there who would give you the commitment that you need.
Just keep your heart open and take good care of yourself.