As a woman, there are some things you wish you learned or knew earlier in life. But then, time and chance didn’t permit such to happen.You don’t have to beat yourself up for this.I have come to learn that such is life, things don’t always go as we want, so, don’t feel bad about the lessons you learned too late in life.As long as you learn them anyway; you can turn your life around at any age.There are many things I wish I had learned while I was much younger, but I have come to learn them now.Is it too late? Not really.Am I bothered? Hmm, maybe a little. Do I regret not knowing these things early enough? Not really.Enough of beating about the bush!Here are some things I learned too late in life:
1. Not To Trust Foolishly
I learned too late that while trust is important to make a relationship work, trusting a man foolishly could be the quickest way of getting heartbroken.I have had too many heartbreaks and disappointments that I always wonder why some humans behave in a selfish and wicked way.Not to trust a man foolishly is one of the things I learnt too late in life.
I failed to trust my own decisions and guts. I’ve realised that it makes more sense when you trust your man but also leave space for some unpleasant surprises and be vigilant.It doesn’t mean you’re insecure or paranoid.It means you’re being realistic and also looking out for yourself because humans are capable of anything.Trust, but don’t trust foolishly.I learned this too late.
No one told me what true love was all about.Growing up, I thought my prince charming was right in the palace, surrounded with pomp and pageantry, glamour and riches.You know, reading romantic novels and watching romantic movies captivated my heart into creating a false world of how true love should be.I have learned that true love doesn’t have to be glamorous, it only needs to be true.True love is when someone loves you genuinely, is there for you and wants the best for you.This doesn’t need to be glamorous.
Self-esteem is a virtue I learnt late in life.It took me a while to uphold my self-esteem and not attach it to a man’s validation of me.I learnt that self-esteem determines what you’ll tolerate in a relationship and eventually what you’ll get.I learned this too late, thus, I suffered a little bit, tolerating what I shouldn’t have tolerated.
4. Love is Not Enough
As a young adult, I thought chemistry and romantic feelings were all that mattered in relationship.How wrong I was!The feelings of butterfly in your stomach, which is popularly referred to as ‘being in love’ is not enough.Feelings aren’t enough.Compatibility of values is more important than romantic feelings, and to ensure this, you must have, know, and understand your values and your partner’s values first.Without this, you won’t know if your values are compatible or contradictory.I’ve learned not to be blinded by romantic feelings but also consider if my partner and I are compatible in the most important aspects of our lives.
5. Sex is Not Love
I’ve learned that even though sexual attraction is normal in a healthy relationship, the fact that we can’t keep our hands off each other doesn’t mean we have true love for each other.How much we love each other is revealed in how kindly we treat each other and how sorry we are when we treat each other in ways we aren’t supposed to.I’ve also learned that holding off sex is more beneficial for me than getting into it right before we know each other.As a matter of fact, I was able to hold it off until marriage.This was easy to do because I married a man who believed in the same things I did.Our values were compatible.These lessons I learned helped me to make better choices that eventually paid off for me.It’s not just about making mistakes but learning from them, which I’m glad I did.