If you ask an average woman what she seeks in a man, she will likely say, “I want a man who can spoil me.”
But if we ask how many women want to spoil their men, the number is usually a handful.
Why?
Do you think men do not like to be pampered and taken care of?
I think not.
As a woman who loves to spoil men, I can tell you that men love to be spoiled.
They love and appreciate it when the woman they are investing in is also investing in them.
But if you are a woman who does not give to her man, you will usually feel guilty about wanting your man to spoil you.
“Am I being too demanding?”
“What if he thinks I’m high-maintenance?”
These are just some of the concerns that might cross your mind.
But what if I told you that it is very possible to get a guy to spoil you without feeling guilty about it?
The trick is to create a healthy balance in the relationship where both partners feel appreciated and valued.
Here are a few practical tips to help you.
6 Ways to Make a Guy Spoil You Without Feeling Guilty for It
1. Make Him Understand What Spoiling Means to You
What does spoiling mean to you?
A holiday in the Maldives?
A gift of the latest car?
Before you can make a guy spoil you, you need to know what “spoiling” means to you and help him understand it.
Are spoiling material gifts, like flowers, jewelry, or fancy dinners, for you?
Or does it mean being pampered with attention, compliments, and time?
Because you may just be looking for attention and compliments, and your man would be calculating his income and working extra hours to take you to the Maldives because you want to get spoiled.
If you define spoiling in your book, you will be able to communicate your desires more effectively.
Spoiling doesn’t always involve spending money (at least not for everyone); sometimes, it’s about the little thoughtful gestures that make you feel special.
2. Appreciate What He Already Does
If you have not cultivated the habit of appreciating everything your man does for you, it will be difficult for you to expect him to do more without feeling guilty.
Gratitude does go a long way.
When I was a child, I was taught that if you want someone to go out of their way to make you happy, you need to show appreciation for what they already do.
I’m an adult now, and this teaching is very applicable.
There’s no gesture that’s too small and can’t be appreciated.
It doesn’t matter if you pick up your favorite snack from the store, send a sweet text during the day, or listen to you vent about your day.
You need to let him know that you notice and appreciate these gestures.
Be very intentional about complimenting his thoughtfulness and effort and telling him how much it means to you.
When you are always appreciative, you may not even need to ask most of the time.
He’ll spoil you effortlessly.
3. Build a Strong Emotional Connection
I was talking to my friend the other day, and we discussed people who only reach out to us when they are in need.
It’s become so common that anytime we see their calls or texts, we know that they need help.
In our conversation, we wondered if these people never felt guilty reaching out to us when they needed help, especially since they didn’t really care about us.
The truth is, when you keep expecting to receive things from a guy in whom you are not emotionally invested, it will soon begin to feel like you are using him.
My mother taught me an important lesson that every young lady should know: you shouldn’t repeatedly spend the money of a man you do not like.
Most of the time, men spend money on women they like.
So, it is unfair that you are giving him a false signal by receiving it from him when you do not share the same energy.
You should either build a genuine emotional connection with him, or it’s just a matter of time before you begin to feel guilty about him spoiling you.
4. Be Giving Too
I cringe whenever I see women who do not spoil their men.
How are you able to breathe well?
Energy should be reciprocated.
Especially positive energy.
If your man is spoiling you and you do not want him to feel like he is doing too much, you had better start spoiling him, too.
The truth is, you may not be able to afford all that he can or the things that bring him joy.
But if you can afford it, why not?
Even if you can’t afford them, there are other little things you can do for him that will make him really happy and grateful.
So, instead of making the relationship feel unbalanced and one-sided, make it balanced.
Be more intentional about giving him tangible things in every way that you can.
When he sees that you’re willing to work for his happiness, he’ll be more inspired to reciprocate.
5. Stay Independent and Confident
Men are often attracted to women who are confident and independent.
They usually consider it a privilege to spend resources on this type of woman because they feel she already has all she needs and does not have to depend on them.
As an independent woman, you should maintain your own interests, hobbies, and friendships.
It will show that you’re not solely reliant on him for happiness.
Independence can be very attractive and makes a man want to spoil you at every opportunity he gets, not because you need it, but because he wants to be a part of your amazing life.
Confidence also allows you to communicate your desires without feeling guilty, knowing that you bring a lot to the relationship.
6. Don’t Make Him Feel Obligated
Your man is not your father; he is under no obligation to bear your financial responsibilities.
So if he decides to take care of you, you should receive it as an act of love and not a duty.
Once you make him feel like he has to spoil you to keep you happy or keep your heart with him, it may soon lead to resentment.
Instead, make sure that he knows that you love and appreciate him whether he takes care of your needs or not.
The only person under an obligation to care for you is your parents.
Your man should be able to decide whether to take up your responsibility or not without feeling obligated.
Create a positive environment where spoiling each other is a natural and joyful part of the relationship, not a checklist item.
When he feels free to spoil you because he wants to, it will feel more heartfelt and sincere.
Men like to spoil the women whom they love.
Without cajoling or compulsion, if a man loves you, he will spend his money, time, and resources on you as much as he has the ability.
So, if you feel guilty about wanting your man to spoil you, you are most likely doing something wrong.
Retrace your steps, revisit your drawing board, and check out where you missed it.
And rather than focusing on ways to make your man spoil you more, you should focus more on building a healthy relationship in which both partners are loved, cherished, and respected.