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“I’m a newbie in relationships and my partner and I were so head-over-heels in love with each other so much that we themed our relationship ‘Always and Forever.’
And to be honest, I always saw myself loving my partner till forever.
I never imagined myself not loving my partner or loving another person.
But time has gone and I’m beginning to notice that my relationship looks strange to me.
A lot of the things that kept the relationship exciting and going seems to have just died a natural death.
And all we’re doing currently is forcing ourselves to be with each other, and we’re not really succeeding in this quest.
What should we do?”
If someone came to you with this kind of concern, what would you tell them?
You see, love is a very beautiful thing that needs extra care to nurture.
And would wane if not taken care of.
The poster of the concern above is facing a situation where the love in their relationship is waning and they do not know.
Knowing when the love in your relationship is going is a good thing because you are able to battle it quickly and recover your relationship before it gets completely destroyed.
So, how can you tell that the love in your relationship is gone?
7 Signs the Love in Your Relationship is Gone
1. Absence of Intimacy
A lot of people think about intimacy as just s.e.x.
Intimacy isn’t just about sex or physical closeness; it also includes emotional and intellectual connection.
If you notice a significant drop in physical affection, such as kissing, hugging, or holding hands, it might suggest that the love in your relationship is going.
Or somehow you can actually feel that you are no longer emotionally close to your partner as you used to be
You can tell the level of emotional connection between a couple by their physical intimacy.
When the love between you two is strong, physical touch comes naturally and frequently.
You do not have to struggle or think about it.
But when the love starts to wane, you begin to struggle to stay physically close with your partner.
2. Frequent Arguments
It is normal for you and your partner to be always fighting.
Every couple has disagreements, but if you’re always fighting, especially over trivial matters, it is beyond what we know.
Frequent arguments are a way people express unaddressed dissatisfaction and frustration.
When you realize that you have begun to argue more often than you are at peace, you should examine the health of your relationship.
Constant bickering in your relationship drains the energy and joy out of it.
Little by little, you are making your relationship a den of sadness and gloom.
These kinds of arguments are bound to be present when there are unresolved issues or unmet needs.
And this is how resentment and hatred build up in a relationship.
Before you know it, the relationship becomes a very toxic environment that messes up with the mental health of both parties.
When there is love in a relationship, conflicts are addressed constructively, with both partners seeking to understand each other’s perspectives and find common ground.
3. Living Separate Lives
This makes me think of a movie I saw when I was still quite young.
It was a story of a woman whose husband was always on the move.
She barely saw him and scarcely knew what was going on in his life.
She became so frustrated that she composed a song where she referred to herself as “married but single.”
Truly, a lot of people who are in a relationship today are in a relationship but single.
And the first way to know this is the fact that you are oblivious to what is going on in your partner’s life.
When couples are in love, they often share activities, hobbies, and interests.
But single couples spend more time apart than together, pursuing separate goals and interests that do not coincide.
4. Emotional Disconnect
There’s a phrase in the proverbs of the wisest king, Solomon, that I like to refer to every now and then.
The one where he said, “Beauty is fleeting.”
Beauty is truly fleeting.
Here today, there tomorrow.
That thing that attracted you to your partner and made you feel like they are the most fascinating person in the world—tomorrow, you’ll find someone who possesses something even better.
Physical attraction is good, but it is the emotional connection that will keep the relationship.
A relationship can survive just about anything as long as the emotional connection is alive.
But when you begin to feel emotionally distant from your partner, you can tell that something is wrong.
You begin to find it difficult to open up to him and share your thoughts, dreams, and fears.
Shared vulnerability is now a foreign concept in your relationship.
At this point, you can easily tell that the love in your relationship is gone.
5. No Effort to Resolve Issues
Every relationship faces challenges, but people who have long-lasting and healthy relationships are characterized by their willingness to work through them.
If you have reached that place where you can comfortably do things that will piss your partner off without the need to make adjustments to accommodate him.
If either of you is no longer interested in resolving conflicts or improving the relationship, it’s a clear sign that the love and commitment you share are gone.
When love is strong and in place, partners will usually address issues and find solutions together.
They place value on the relationship and are always willing to put in the effort to make it work.
But when love fades, this motivation can disappear.
6. Lack of Future Plans
Another way to know that the love in your relationship is gone is when your relationship turns to NFA (no future ambition).
Let me explain what I mean.
In a healthy relationship, couples often make plans for the future—vacations, buying a house, or starting a family.
But NFA relationships are usually not interested in planning any future with nobody.
And imagine you both had started on future plans and all of a sudden, they are no longer interested in these things.
They avoid every conversation that has to do with making future plans.
And planning for the future is one firm way of expressing hope and commitment in a relationship.
It shows that you both envision a long-term life together and are willing to invest in it.
When these kinds of conversations stop in your relationship, it means that you both are no longer certain about the relationship’s longevity.
7. Daydreaming About Being Single
It’s normal to occasionally wonder what life would be like if you were single.
But that woman in the movie who was married and single wasn’t just occasionally wondering; she was living and walking the single life.
She was always fantasizing about actually being single and with someone else.
Some people even daydream about being single and alone while they are in the company of their partner.
Daydreaming like this shows that you’re longing for freedom or a fresh start.
So you engage in fantasizing to provide you temporary relief from the dissatisfaction you feel in your current relationship.
But if you continue in your daydreams and fantasies for a while, you’ll begin to feel a sense of detachment and discontent that makes it difficult to invest in your relationship.
Realizing that these signs are present in your relationship can be really painful.
But it is super necessary to know if your goal is to save your relationship.
The earlier you discover it, the more chance you get to visit these things from their roots and deal with them.
And there are also situations where you need to move on with your life at this point.
What is important is your mental health, and whatever choice you make, you must prioritize your mental health.