They said weekends are for weddings, right?
So, let’s talk about marriage this weekend.
Marriage is one of the most beautiful relationships ever, yet it can also be one of the most challenging.
And I keep asking myself how one thing can be at the extreme end of two opposites because when a marriage is good, life is very good.
But one lousy marriage can ruin a person’s life forever.
You’ve probably heard the saying that “marriage is hard work,” but it’s more than that.
The other weekend, I was a guest at a wedding, and while the chairman of the occasion was remarking, he spoke to the couple about rules that can help them keep their marriage strong.
Trust me to take notes for you who did not attend the wedding.
So, using my notes and other sources of knowledge, I’ve put together this article for you who are seeking ways to keep your marriage strong.
7 Rules To Maintain If You Want To Keep Your Marriage Strong
1. Communication is Key
I think we’ve spoken about communication so much that it feels like it is becoming overemphasized.
However, the importance of communication in building a healthy and strong marriage can never be overemphasized.
Go round and do research, you’ll find that every successful relationship is built on solid communication.
The communication line with your partner must be constantly open.
It is non-negotiable.
Extra spice is when your conversations are respectful, honest, and juicy.
And the ability to listen to your partner because communication is sending and receiving.
Your spouse should never be in the dark about anything in your life—keep them continuously updated.
Sound communication helps you both understand each other better and address potential issues before they escalate.
2. Never Stop Dating Each Other
One mistake many couples make is thinking that the ‘dating phase’ is over once they are married.
But the truth is, if you want your marriage to be as juicy as it was when you were dating, you must make it as romantic and exciting as it was when you were only dating.
What happened to all the date nights, surprises, and sweet love?
Who told you it has to go away in marriage?
This is the reason why a lot of people have better dating lives than married life.
They put more intentionality into the relationship when they are dating and choose to rest when they get married.
It’s garbage in and garbage out.
The energy and vibes you bring into your marriage are the same ones you’ll get out of it.
3. Be Willing to Compromise
Marriage is not a game of champions; it is a partnership in which two people come together to do what is best for the marriage.
If you keep score or try to get your way in your marriage all the time, you already know that you are setting up your marriage for failure.
You must be willing to compromise if you are seeking to have a solid and happy marriage.
Should you throw your ability to make choices away?
No.
Should you throw your opinions away?
No.
So, what is compromise?
Choosing to let your partner have their way over having a disagreement or an unhappy partner.
They don’t even need to be right for you to give them grace.
Just let them win sometimes.
That’s a compromise, and that’s how to build a healthy and strong marriage.
4. Keep Physical Intimacy Alive
Did sex flash through your mind?
Because when we talk about physical intimacy, people tend to first think about sex before anything else.
Sex is very important in marriage, but right now, we’re not talking about sex right now.
We’re talking about holding hands, hugging, kissing, and even just sitting close to one another.
These physical displays of affection help build a sense of closeness between couples.
Physical touch is a powerful way to communicate love and connection without saying a word.
Physical affection may seem basic, but it is lacking in many marriages.
Both partners must make an intentional effort to keep the physical bond strong in a marriage.
You must be attentive to your partner’s intimate needs and nurture physical intimacy, even when life gets busy.
These small moments of connection may seem trivial, but they are crucial to keeping your marriage vibrant and healthy.
5. Trust and Be Trustworthy
I have studied marriages for a while now, and I can categorically say that trust is one of the most important ingredients in a healthy marriage.
Trust in marriage is a two-way street—you must trust your partner and show them that you can be trusted.
Your marriage isn’t healthy if you only trust your partner, but they do not trust you, or if they trust you but you do not trust them.
It has to be well-balanced to be effective.
One way to know if you are building a healthy marriage is if there is no room for suspicion, secrecy, or deceit in it.
I like to use the Bible’s statement that “both were naked and unashamed ” about Adam and Eve to illustrate trust.
There must be complete openness and honesty in your marriage.
As soon as you begin using “sense” to hide things from your spouse, you’re giving room for dishonesty and distrust—two things that can make your marriage crumble.
6. Support Each Other’s Growth
One thing that always stands out in marriages is the opportunity for couples to watch each other grow and evolve.
And not just watch, they become a part of their spouse’s growth story; each one holding the other up and encouraging their growth.
If you want to build a strong and happy marriage, you must support your partner’s individual growth.
There’s almost nothing as good as knowing that your spouse has not lost themselves by being married to you.
I see many married people today losing themselves in marriage and unable to pursue their purpose.
No matter how good a marriage looks on the outside, if both partners are not fulfilling their individual purposes, it will surely experience a setback in the long run.
Encouraging each other to pursue personal goals and dreams shows that you’re interested in each other’s happiness and the marriage’s well-being.
7. Forgive and Forget
If you’ve ever told yourself that you are getting into a relationship where your partner will be all perfect and not stress you, you told yourself a lie.
As long as your partner is human, they’ll step on your toes, misunderstand you, and disagree with you on some matters.
This is why forgiveness must be a very close companion to you as a married person.
Holding onto grudges has never helped the health of any marriage.
Instead, it builds resentment and can damage your marriage to the point of no repair.
And before you quote me, I have not said that you should excuse or ignore bad behavior.
That’s not what forgiveness means.
It means letting go of the hurt and working together to overcome it.
This will let your marriage heal and grow stronger.
Plus, there are some issues that are not even worth a battle.
You should be able to overlook minor issues to maintain peace and harmony in your marriage.
Rome wasn’t built in a day, and a strong marriage wasn’t built overnight.
To achieve it, it takes time, effort, and a commitment to working together through good times and bad times.
And even when it feels like you have achieved it, you must keep working to maintain it.
But you should know that with love, patience, and dedication, your marriage can be one of the most rewarding relationships in your life.