People who have never experienced their husbands being mean to them may be unable to relate to this conversation.
However, it is also necessary that they join in on the conversation, as this can help them understand the possible causes and avoid them as much as possible.
Why would your once-loving husband become a cold, distant, or even downright mean man?
It’s something nobody should actually experience.
It comes with pain and confusion.
You’ll ask questions and may not find answers if you’re not asking in the right places.
Indeed, two things are involved when this happens: you may have done something wrong, or your husband is dealing with something you do not know about.
Asking the question here today is asking in the right place.
Based on our research and experience, we will discuss 8 reasons why your husband has become mean.
8 Reasons Your Husband Has Become So Mean
1. Stress and Pressure from Work
We know that people are supposed to lord over their emotions and not let their emotions rule over them, but sometimes, stress and pressure can push someone so far to the wall that they don’t even know when their emotions are let loose.
This is one of the most common reasons for changes in behavior.
If your husband is dealing with a high level of pressure at work, chances are he’ll go home with that stress.
And what happens when he gets home to meet more pressure and stress?
He is pushed to the wall.
Hear me, this is not making excuses for him.
But if your husband is going through more stress than he can comfortably handle, he’ll likely become hostile as a coping mechanism.
And you’ll definitely be on the receiving end as long as you are with him.
And you know how they keep feeling the need to “tough it out” and not talk about their stress.
I don’t know who taught men to be this and where they started, but I know that their pattern of choosing to close up and man up always leads to frustration.
2. Unresolved Emotional Issues
When you have issues, deal with them immediately.
There’s really no reason to store grievances in your heart when you need that heart to pump blood to stay alive.
You’ll keep on piling up little hurts here and there until they become the weapon fashioned against your marriage.
And this is probably why your husband has become mean to you.
There are unresolved hurts in the marriage that is eating him up.
Something you’ve done to him that he never mentioned and has not forgiven.
Maybe he has felt unheard, misunderstood, or disrespected in certain aspects of the marriage.
If he speaks about these things, you both can walk through it and help him heal.
But as long as it stays in his heart, it can build resentment there, making him become mean and hostile.
3. Financial Struggles
There are several reasons why we see many young men today who have gotten to a marriageable age avoid marriage.
One of them is their quest for financial freedom.
An average man does not want to get married until he’s attained some level of financial stability.
Why?
Because money is one of the top sources of stress in marriage.
Financial problems can create insecurity, fear, and frustration in a marriage.
If your husband feels like he’s not contributing enough financially or is getting worried about bills, he’ll likely become angry.
Feeling like he is not doing as much as he should for the family.
As soon as a man begins to feel inadequate, it begins to affect his ability to show kindness to others and deal with situations calmly.
4. Health Problems
Men do not like to be a burden to others.
They usually do not want to be the ones to be taken care of.
They want to be able to fend for their families.
We already know that physical health challenges can spoil someone’s mood, man or woman.
Imagine there’s a health challenge like that that is not only holding your husband down but also preventing him from fulfilling his obligations as a husband and father.
This challenge has the ability to make him become mean and hostile.
5. Midlife Crisis
For people who have been having doubts about it, the midlife crisis is a real thing.
People experience it every day.
For people who are unsure, the midlife crisis is a phenomenon that affects people in their middle age, say, their 40s or 50s.
A man experiencing a midlife crisis will definitely question his accomplishments, career choices, and overall life direction.
That’s when they begin to ask themselves what exactly they have achieved in life.
Then, they’ll begin to feel like time is running out, leading to feelings of frustration and dissatisfaction that they project onto those closest to them.
6. Emotional Burnout
Then there’s the issue of emotional burnout.
When a person juggles multiple responsibilities at once, they’ll always get burnt out and exhausted.
And men are known to always carry a load of responsibilities in marriage.
They carry work, family, and personal issues and sometimes do it all alone.
Nobody is made to be an island.
Everybody depends on someone one way or another.
When people carry all their burdens alone, they will experience burnout.
Emotional exhaustion can lead to irritability, mood swings, and even detachment from loved ones.
Suppose your husband is not getting help with his responsibilities and needs to carry everything all by himself, constantly giving without receiving any emotional support. In that case, he can become resentful and mean.
7. Unmet Expectations in the Marriage
People usually go into marriage with their expectations.
That’s why I keep telling people not to pretend before or in marriage.
Because your spouse will usually base their expectations on what they want and what you present to them.
It is true that marriage involves compromise, but if people enter a relationship with unmet expectations, they become disappointed.
Plus, people should also tailor their expectations to what their spouse can meet.
Your husband would feel disappointed if things in the marriage turn out differently than he envisaged.
Or there’s a change in certain aspects of things from what was obtainable initially.
And the new style is not satisfactory for him.
Unmet expectations usually lead to frustration in the marriage, and you do not expect someone who is frustrated to be happy with you.
8. Feeling Underappreciated
Is there anything like being “overappreciated?”
I don’t think we can ever thank our spouse too much, and my reason is that our spouses are always doing things for us and the marriage daily.
So, saying thank you every day is just a way to remind them that we value and appreciate what they are doing.
And who doesn’t want to feel valued and appreciated?
If your husband feels that his efforts—in providing for the family, helping around the house, or supporting you emotionally—go unnoticed, he might begin to act out.
Especially when he feels like ingratitude has become a norm for you.
And that feeling of being unappreciated can lead to bitterness and emotional withdrawal.
After finding out why your husband has become mean, your next move should be to work out a solution.
You can’t spend your “happily ever after” with a man who is hostile towards you.
If you have offended him, apologize and amend your ways.
If he is going through something else, approach him with empathy and get him to talk with about it.
It’s never too late to work through problems in a marriage.
All you need is patience and good communication, and you both can have an even better marriage than at the beginning.