We’re quite fortunate to live in a generation where the world is evolving with the break of the day.
Even relationships have evolved in many ways.
People are now constantly redefining what makes a relationship healthy, supportive, and lasting.
And in the midst of these redefining, we find that some toxic habits have woven themselves so deeply into many relationships so much that we’ve started to think of them as “normal.”
And you know you’re in a dangerous situation when you begin to consider things that can cause you great harm as “normal.”
Thing with toxic relationship habits is that they don’t always scream dysfunction.
Some of them just whisper.
Like wolves in sheep’s clothing, they sneak in under the guise of love, care, or “tough love.”
It is your duty to recognize these behaviors for what they truly are and protect yourself from them if you are looking at building healthier, and more fulfilling relationships.
Let’s see some of these toxic behaviors people consider normal in their relationships.
7 Toxic Relationship Habits Most People Think Are Normal
1. Jealousy as a Sign of Love
People keep saying, “Jealousy means they care,” and I can’t exactly say they’re not correct.
We’ve all agreed that if our partners do not show some level of possessiveness over us, they do not exactly love us.
The only challenge with jealousy and possessiveness is the fact that there is a very thin line between this duo and toxicity.
Having a partner who constantly questions where you are, who you’re with, or why you didn’t answer your phone right away is draining.
That’s not love—it’s control.
Normalize spelling out toxicity and not hiding it under lame excuses.
Healthy relationships are built on trust, and too much jealousy takes that away from your relationship.
2. Overdependence and “Needing” Each Other
“We can’t do without each other. My partner is the very air I breathe and the life I live.”
No one will tell you this, but I will.
It feels romantic and sweet, but if you are in a relationship where you and your partner cannot do without each other, you’re in a toxic one.
“But isn’t that why we’re in a relationship and in love with each other?”
Interdependence—where you both have your individual lives while supporting each other—is healthy. Overdependence is not.
The notion that your partner completes you or that you can’t live without them would result in
a lack of personal growth, independence, and, most importantly, boundaries.
You’d be far gone before you even realize that you do not have a life.
Then you’ll begin to resent the same person who was your all in all.
A relationship should be a partnership between two whole individuals, not two halves trying to make a whole.
3. Constantly Walking on Eggshells
Are you in a relationship where you must tread carefully around your partner’s emotions, afraid that one wrong word or action might set them off?
This is not you being considerate; you’re in a toxic relationship.
One of the first signs of toxicity is fear.
It is right and important to be considerate of your partner’s feelings and needs in the relationship, but when you begin to live in constant fear of hurting your partner, you are in trouble.
Hard to accept, but walking on eggshells in your relationship shows that there is lack of communication in your relationship.
It also shows that there’s the issue of power imbalance.
Your partner’s emotions dominate the space, and you’re left to manage the tension.
Why?
And you say it’s love?
In healthy relationships, people express themselves openly and resolve conflicts and misunderstanding whenever it arises without being afraid of their partner.
4. The Silent Treatment
“It’s not a silent treatment; my partner isn’t just in the mood to talk at the moment.”
It amazes me how sane people make excuses for behaviors that can traumatize them into becoming insane.
You’re in the middle of a situation, and your partner is choosing not to communicate with you at that time because they are “not in the mood.”
In a crucial time?
Just after an argument?
We should be kind enough to call a spade a spade.
Your partner is emotionally manipulative, and you feel like it is normal.
Once your partner gives you the silent treatment, you begin to feel guilty, anxious, or desperate for reconciliation, right?
And you do not think it is manipulative?
It is not normal.
Couples are supposed to talk through disagreements and reach a mutual understanding instead of using silence as a weapon.
5. Playing the Victim
I’ve been in a relationship with someone who always played the victim, and even if it wasn’t a romantic relationship, I am glad I was able to recognize the toxicity and protect myself from it.
We see this in some romantic relationships today, where one partner adopts a victim mentality and constantly frames themselves as the one who is wronged, hurt, or misunderstood.
I mean, why is it always about you?
You have done something wrong, but rather than admitting it, you seek ways to be the victim.
This is the height of toxicity, and people who are used to being in a toxic environment may feel like it is normal.
First, a person who plays the victim always will never change or grow.
So if they wrong you once, be rest assured that they’ll do it over and over again because they’ve not opened their hearts to repent and learn to be better.
Another thing is the fact that there won’t be any healthy conflict resolution in that relationship since it is only one person who is always in the wrong.
6. Invalidating Each Other’s Feelings
As a person, you need to know that your feelings are valid.
Your feelings are valid as long as you’re not being manipulative or playing the victim.
The only reason why you feel like your feelings are not valid is because you are with a partner who invalidates your feelings.
And because you’ve become used to it, you feel like it is normal.
But it is not.
Your partner should hear you out and validate your feelings, even if they disagree.
When they keep saying “You’re overreacting” or “It’s not that big of a deal,” they are sending a message that your emotions are not worthy of attention.
Over time, this does lead to frustration, self-doubt, and emotional distance.
7. Publicly Airing Grievances
I am a very private person, especially when it comes to my relationships.
I don’t want to share the happenings in my relationships with people, whether they are good or bad.
But aside from being reserved in my relationship, it is a bad habit to talk about your partner’s shortcomings or air grievances in public.
If you have issues with your partner, deal with them privately.
There are very few times when you actually do need a third party in your relationship.
Most of the time, you both should be able to sort out your issues by yourselves.
When you bring in outsiders into your relationship issues (especially when it is not a mutual agreement), you are disrespecting your partner.
You also allow others to see your partner’s inefficiency and disrespect them.
Unless you’re suicidal, you should not be in a toxic relationship.
These relationships drain you, traumatize you, and leave you dealing with several mental health challenges that may take a lot of time and resources to heal from.
I like to tell people to “guard your heart with all diligence.”
Truth is, the things you let into your heart become the things you give out.
So you must normalize shutting out toxicity, or it is just a matter of time before you also become a toxic person.