If you are opportune to have access to the kind of things people endure because of love, you’ll be shocked.
I said because of love quite alright, but to be honest, many times, I ask myself if it is love that makes people stay in a toxic environment, or if there’s something else.
Because people do go into a relationship for several reasons.
Some of these reasons are toxic in themselves, and will encourage them to be in a toxic environment.
In my opinion, relationships are supposed to be a place of joy, love, and support.
So when what is supposed to be a loving partnership can turn into something abusive, you should know that it has moved away from the normal.
Abuse is not only physical violence; it can manifest in various forms, and each of them are just as damaging as the next.
If you are in an abusive relationship, would you know?
7 Signs Your Relationship Is Abusive
1. Isolation from Friends and Family
It is typical of people who want to hurt you to move you away from the reach of people who can help you.
Because they know that if you are close to help, they might not be able to take advantage of you as much as they would want to.
When you are in a relationship, and you notice your partner is somehow encouraging or advising you to cut off your relationship with your friends and family, that’s your cue to flee.
I mean, why is it a problem that you are spending time with your family and friends?
Being in a relationship does not equal losing your personal life and the solid relationship you had before you got into a romantic relationship.
So every now and then, you must give time to these people because they are your real support network.
It is only an abusive partner that would kick against this.
2. Excessive Jealousy and Possessiveness
We all know that if we have a partner who doesn’t blink at our relationship with other people—especially someone of the opposite gender, the first thing we’ll ask ourselves is whether or not they care about us.
Whether we admit it or not, we enjoy having a partner who wants us all to themselves and does not want to share us with anyone else.
But jealousy cannot stay healthy for too long.
Just a little more intense and it becomes a sign of abuse.
Constant suspicion and accusations will follow immediately.
You can barely breathe without your partner suspecting you or accusing you of cheating on them.
It is a problem—it can make you lose self confidence.
Even when it is wearing a mask of love, you should be able to tell when you are being controlled and keep yourself away from it.
3. Constant Criticism and Belittling
Don’t let anyone joke you into a funny self esteem or a tainted self confidence.
Guard your heart with all diligence.
An abusive partner is known to frequently put you down, make you feel worthless, or criticize everything you do.
And they’ll usually hide under the guise of friendly jokes or small talk.
Friendly joke but there’s nothing friendly about your self esteem after the talk.
You find yourself doubting yourself a little bit more every day because you have a partner who is constantly making snide jokes or constantly criticizing your every move.
So instead of growing and becoming a better person, you’re becoming worse off because you need confidence to achieve your goals.
4. Sexual Coercion or Assault
Your body is yours, and you reserve the full right to give access to whoever you will and to keep it from whoever you will.
I have seen many situations where one partner assaulted the other over refusal of sexual advances.
Your body is yours—you can decide that you do not want to engage in sexual activity at a given time.
A partner who respects you will respect your decisions and steer clear.
But you know you’re in an abusive relationship when your partner is always forcing you or manipulating you to engage in sexual activities with them.
How do you know that they are manipulating or forcing?
They’ll pressure you into sex when you’re not comfortable, or outrightly assault you sexually.
Consent is very important when it has to do with sexual relations.
Anything done outside of your consent is abuse.
5. Constant Monitoring and Invasion of Privacy
You probably may not know this, but it is an abuse of privacy for people to invade your personal space or monitor you without your express permission.
Even the law recognizes the act of stalking someone as a threat, and could punish a person for invasion of another person’s privacy.
There’s a level of trust you would have in your partner and they’ll have access to your privacy even without asking.
But if you have not gotten to that level and your partner is forcing you or manipulating you to grant them access to your privacy, they are crossing the line from just wanting to know what is going on in your life to being abusive.
Trust is supposed to be allowed to bud and grow naturally.
It is not supposed to be forced.
6. Lack of Empathy or Compassion
If your partner is abusive, your feelings and emotions will be the last thing they care about.
This is why they are able to treat you coldly, indifferently, and without consideration.
They are very comfortable with making decisions without thinking about whether it is good or bad for you.
In their minds, they decide to do what they want to do, you decide how you want to feel about it.
And however you feel about it is your business, not theirs.
Even if it’s not an emotion borne out of something they did or did not do, they still wouldn’t care.
You understand how you can express your emotions to someone and they guilt trip or belittle you for feeling the way you do.
They even have a way of turning the conversation back to themselves.
Zero empathy and zero concern for your needs.
7. You Feel Like You’re Walking on Eggshells
If you’ve ever been in a place where you were constantly criticized and bad-mouthed, you should be able to relate with this.
You are constantly worried about saying or doing the wrong thing because you’re afraid of how your partner will react.
Your confidence will always be on a zero level if you stay in a place like this.
You cannot tell what you will do or say that will offend your partner or please them, because they are very unpredictable with being offended.
You can do the exact same thing you did before that made them happy and they get offended by it.
You can’t even breathe freely because you are not sure whether your breath will offend them.
When you find yourself in this kind of relationship, you do not need any extra information to know that you are in an abusive one.
In a healthy relationship, you stand as solid as a rock, without fear of breaking anything.
You’re not standing on an edge.
Even when you make mistakes, you are able to correct your steps and move on.
The first thing you must know if you are in an abusive relationship is that there’s help for you.
This post is your first help.
Reach out to your support group—no matter how long you’ve been separated from them and let them hold you up and bring you out from this toxicity.
As soon as your abuser knows that you have people, they lose a huge grip over you, and you can start moving towards your freedom.
I’m rooting for you.