S.exual intimacy in a marriage is one aspect of marriage people often look forward to with eagerness.
And it is also one aspect people are a bit too intentional about.
So, you can imagine how frustrated a person may end up being if sex in their marriage does not go as anticipated.
I will share with you something I learned:
When people go into marriage without any experience in s.exual intimacy, they enjoy s.ex in their marriage the most because they do not have a base for comparisons.
So they cannot say, “My spouse is not good in bed.”
As compared to who?
Or as compared to what?
People’s first s.ex is always the best until there’s another experience.
Then they can compare with their first and decide which is better.
This is one very crucial reason why celibacy till marriage should be celebrated and promoted.
It will reduce the number of broken marriages resulting from s.exual frustration.
There are several other things that can make a man s.exually frustrated, but today, we want to look at how you can tell that your husband is sexually frustrated in your marriage.
7 Signs Your Husband Is Sexually Frustrated
1. Changes in S.exual Behavior
I think one of the most immediate signs of s.exual frustration is a noticeable change in your husband’s s.exual behavior.
And because this is an intimate time you both share together, you can’t possibly miss these changes.
If he is not enjoying s.ex for one reason or another, he won’t be excited during s.ex time.
He’ll spend that time with you as a necessity and “to fulfill all righteousness, ” not because he enjoys it.
You would actually see his withdrawal and reduced interest in sex.
If he is a bit more kind, he may talk about his frustrations.
If he does this, you can bet he really loves you and is seeking ways to improve his intimacy with you.
2. Emotional Distance
Another thing is emotional distance.
Maybe I should raise this argument at this point.
There’s an argument that women may get intimate with people they are emotionally attracted to, while men may get emotionally attracted and connected to the people they enjoy intimacy with.
Of course, this argument may not be entirely correct, but if your husband is s.exually frustrated in the marriage, it will most likely affect his emotional closeness with you.
If he is not enjoying s.ex with you, he probably will not feel as connected to you as he used to.
So, he’ll begin to withdraw from conversations and avoid activities you both shared together.
Because whether we like it or not, when s.ex is exciting, it boosts the enthusiasm to engage in each other’s life.
But when a person is experiencing frustration in one area of their lives, it has a tendency to affect other areas.
This is not to say that every time there’s an emotional distance or strain in your marriage, there’s sexual frustration.
However, s.exual frustration does influence emotional strain.
3. Increased Irritability
You can’t talk to a frustrated person.
I think this is where the saying comes from: “A hungry man is an angry man.”
A hungry man is frustrated and wants to eat.
Things that he would normally handle as a joke are the same things that would make him so angry and raging.
And you would wonder what you did differently.
Nothing.
The person just needs to eat.
It works the same way if your husband is se.xually unsatisfied.
S.exual frustration is usually accompanied by increased irritability and mood swings.
Your usually patient and peaceful husband now has a short temper and gets angry over minor issues.
Without knowing, the stress and disappointment that comes with not being satisfied with s.ex will spill over into other aspects of his life, making him more reactive to everyday situations.
4. Disinterest in Physical Affection
If your husband is not satisfied with s.ex, he will lack the willingness to want to satisfy you.
Before now, he usually will engage in foreplay before se.x to get you ready, but now he just gets into the act, finishes and moves on.
There is no foreplay and no affection afterward.
Away from se.x time, physical affection, like cuddling, kissing, or holding hands, will also take a back seat in your marriage.
You can also tell about the strength of a marriage by the absence of physical affection.
So, if your husband now avoids and rejects physical affection, you can tell that he is dealing with something deeper.
Physical distance in your marriage affects your physical relationship as well as your emotional connection.
5. Increased Focus on Fantasies or Pornography
This is a very unhealthy way to deal with se.xual frustration.
Some men turn to porn.ography and se.xual fantasies to address their se.xual frustration.
Unpopular opinion: their se.xual frustration may be caused by their consumption of por.nography.
When people consume po.rnography, they begin to have a distorted idea of what se.x and se.xual satisfaction should look like.
The images in po.rnography are unrealistic.
They are filmed and edited to portray s.ex in a way that is exaggerated.
When a person comes to s.ex with that exaggerated image and idea they’ve gotten from watching po.rnography and expect their partners to fulfill their expectations, it usually results in disappointment and frustration.
It is unhealthy for a person to engage in po.rnography and other s.exual fantasies as a way of dealing with their se.xual frustrations.
It will only worsen their frustrations.
6. Changes in Sleep Patterns
Your husband may decide to change his sleep patterns if he is experiencing s.exual frustration.
Especially if you both usually have s.ex during sleep time.
You’ll notice that he may begin to come in late and get up very early.
He creates this pattern in order to avoid sex with you as much as possible.
And the thing with poor sleep patterns is that it can exacerbate feelings of frustration and stress, creating a cycle that affects both his physical, emotional, and even mental health.
So, he becomes less productive in other areas of his life due to a mental breakdown that is caused by poor sleep patterns.
7. Lack of Enthusiasm in the Relationship
I once heard someone say something in my dialect to a woman in his life, and it was so pathetic.
I could only try to explain it in English, but it wouldn’t hold the strength of its meaning as it does when I say it in my dialect.
He told the woman that he was tired of her, the way a person gets tired of eating stale food.
I don’t know his reasons for saying that, but I know that sexual frustration can make a person tired of their marriage.
The enthusiasm, energy, and excitement will fade alongside the passion for each other.
So, if your husband behaves like someone who is packing his bags to leave the marriage, he may be experiencing sexual frustration.
The things he used to do with you before that used to make him so happy now irritate him.
And with a lack of enthusiasm will come unnecessary conflicts and arguments.
He will take anything that will keep him outside the marriage and away from you.
As I mentioned in the first point, you can tell your husband’s willingness to face the challenge with you by how he approaches the situation.
He should be willing to talk to you about it so that adjustments can be made where necessary.
If you both need to seek the help of a medical professional or a therapist, you should willingly do so.
What’s most important is that you are able to revive your sexual excitement and save your marriage.