The first question I asked was, “If you are not meant to be together, why are you together?”
Then I answered the question for myself.
You know, many times, we fall in love, and while things are still rosy and the butterflies in our tummies have not yet been digested, we get into a relationship with the person we’re in love with.
Then the butterflies digests and our eyes begin to open.
And we begin to see some things that were not there at the beginning (or they were there, but there were also butterflies).
This point is where we make the decision to either stay with this person and intentionally love them or part ways with them.
Now, if we decide to part ways everytime our eyes are opened, do you want to count the number of relationships we would be in?
I am all for “a broken relationship is better than a failed marriage.”
But you must be able to prove that you and this person can’t be together before you break up with them.
So what are the signs to look out for?
Signs that tell you that this person is not just the one for you?
6 Signs You Are Not Meant to Be Together
1. Difference in Life Goals
It is usually a good thing when couples have different character and temperament.
They can come together and help each other fill up the insufficiencies and trim off excesses.
But there’s something couples can’t do differently, and that is life goals and values.
I usually like to define goals as where we are going and values as what we are going with.
Your values are those things you deem very important, and you hold them close to you as you pursue your goals.
If your goals do not align with your partner’s, it automatically means that you are both moving in different directions.
And how are you supposed to walk together if you are going in a different direction?
Because if you see this person in your future (and I’d like to think that you have some goals where they are featured), then they must be walking in your path to actually reach this place.
So, if you both have looked at your lives and realized that you cannot make compromises or align your goals to match your partner’s, it shows that you cannot successfully be in a healthy relationship together.
2. Lack of Trust
I don’t know of one relationship that thrives when the partners don’t trust each other.
Even in our day-to-day life, you have to trust your friend to actually be their friend.
You have to trust that the online store will deliver your order to you before you order it.
We employ trust in our day-to-day interactions with people.
And we realize that if we do not trust people, we tend to move away from them.
So how do we stay in a relationship with someone we do not trust?
Every day, you are plagued with doubt and suspicion.
Suspicions do more damage to your mental health than you probably realize.
If you keep your mind focused on the negatives, you are weakening your mind.
Soon you’ll begin to face depression, trauma and the rest.
So, if your mind does not rest easily with a person, you are probably not meant to be together.
3. Feeling Drained
I don’t know how other people view relationships, yeah.
But I think a relationship should be a plus to your life.
Your relationship should be your happy place and a place where you can draw strength and be refreshed.
But did you know that some people have not experienced any kind of refreshment since they entered a relationship?
Instead, they are constantly feeling overwhelmed, exhausted, and stressed out like they are being overused.
Meanwhile, the relationship is supposed to be a place of give and take, where the couple can exchange strength and many other things.
When you begin to feel emotionally and mentally drained at all times, you become less productive in other areas of your life.
You can’t be in that type of relationship.
A relationship should bring positivity and support, not constant fatigue.
4. Different Values
I gave a little background explanation for values when I spoke about goals.
Many people combine values and beliefs and say that they are the foundation of who we are.
This means that they cannot separate you from your values or what you believe in.
I see couples who have differing views on religion, politics, or family, and I conclude that they either do not truly believe in what they claim to believe in, or they do not have a healthy relationship.
Two people cannot walk together if they are not in agreement.
When partners have fundamentally different values, it usually results in unending conflicts and misunderstandings.
So, if you have non-negotiable differences with the one you love and are often faced with serious clashes, it is a sign that you are not meant to be together.
5. No Shared Interests
Sharing interests is not as deep as sharing goals and values, but it is equally very important.
You see, there will always come a time when the love in the relationship will wane.
There must be something at that point that holds you both together while trying to revive your love.
And that thing is the interest you both share.
If you and your partner do not share any interests, when that day comes and there’s nothing to hold you both together, you may be faced with the untimely end of your relationship.
Apart from this, shared interests also help to strengthen the bond you share.
As you do things together, you spend more time together and get to know each other better.
So, if you’ve discovered that you always struggle to find common ground or activities you both enjoy, making spending quality time together challenging, you will most likely not enjoy yourselves in the relationship.
A relationship should be a balance of enjoying each other’s company and respecting each other’s individuality.
6. Gut Feeling
Have you ever been in a situation where everything was fine and well, but you kept feeling like there was something off?
Some people feel that in their relationships, too.
And I like to say that you won’t feel that way if something is not truly off.
And the thing is, after you have had that feeling for a while, you begin to manifest it.
Because you feel like something is off, you begin to suspect and doubt your partner, and this begins to reflect in your interactions with them.
So that it now looks like you are the orchestrator of the trouble in your relationship.
When you have a persistent feeling that something isn’t right, don’t roll it aside.
Pay attention to it.
Your instincts can often sense underlying issues that your conscious mind might not be able to recognize immediately.
So rather than stay and orchestrate the trouble, you can move and find peace.
Relationships usually require effort, communication, and a willingness to grow together.
Most of the signs listed here are often things that cannot be compromised, but there’s really nothing that cannot be compromised on this earth.
It is only dependent on the willingness of the people involved.
If you notice a number of these signs in your relationship, it might be worth having an honest conversation with your partner or seeking the help of a relationship counsellor.
But if you can’t compromise on them then it is time to let your partner go for the sake of your individual happiness and mental stability.